Friday, November 20, 2009

Kraft: What the fuck happened to my ranch dressing?

Every since my childhood I have been mesmerized by the power of ranch dressing, and it's versatility. I mean let's be serious... You can put ranch on every damn thing, from salads, to fries, to burgers, to pizza, the applications are simply ENDLESS.

Well, for some reason the people over at Kraft foods decided to bring the joy of ranchites world wide to a end, when they announced they had changed to a "natural recipe." Now, most of us would think, OK whatever that's great because now it will taste better, ha, Kraft pulled the rug out from under your ass!

I am going to keep this as simple as possible... This shit is NASTY as hell, and not in a nasty ranch type of a way, but in a WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, type of way. I mean the stuff taste nothing like ranch at all. It taste more like Miracle whip with lots of vegetable oil in it. The sad thing is, that the good people over at Kraft show no interest at all in changing the recipe back. I say this because, I went to there message board to write a complaint, only to find that thousands upon thousands have been complaining about the new recipe to no avail. And wait, the kick is, if you call the Kraft hot-line to complain they will send you a coupon for a free bottle of ranch dressing. Talking about a company that is out of touch and soon to be in trouble. I dont play that shit, because I will politely go to the store and change brands.

- J

To V or not to V?


Before I begin this post let me be clear in saying: the following is only MY opinion and in no way is it an effort to sabotage or change anyone's mind set on purchasing V-Magazine.

Ok, well I have been what I guess you can call a "subscriber" to the fashion magazine, V, since spring of 2008. However, because of mismanagement with the good people over at V it took me more than 5 months to receive the mammoth of a magazine.

Before taking the virginity of my first issue of V, which was titled, " By the grace of Goude", and featured legendary model, Grace Jones, on the cover, I realized that most of V's impressiveness was held in it's size alone. Finally, I broke the protective seal and pulled back the first page, and then I flipped to the next, and the next, and I began to realize: The magazine is just mostly adverts. Now, don't get me wrong, it does contain some articles most of which I found to be largely uninteresting.

Needless to say, the best part of the magazine has continued to be the spread the correlates with the cover. And everything else just tends to be, well, just everything else, with most of the adverts repeating from issue to issue. As for the current issue that I have just received (winter 2009-10) I dont even know what is in it, because I have developed the habit of just throwing them into a decorative pile beside my computer.

So, the verdict is in, V magazine is a conversation piece insofar as your speaking to someone who has never seen a magazine it's size before. However, the conversation stops there, with it's innards being largely redundant, and it's centerfolds being just OK, once you have talked about this magazine once, there is simply no need to speak of it again. Ultimately, it's a foreign magazine that has taken on the face of just another boring American magazine.

NOT to V!


- J

Editorial by Hedi Slimane

Hedi Slimane's work has been, and continues to be a major inspiration in my development as a artist. Her black and whites are nothing short of astonishing. The contrast of her black and whites can only be described as extreme, yet some how she manages to balance the transitions from light to dark in a harmonious fashion.
Her skillful use of the tones black, white, and gray stand proof to the saying that, sometimes a black and white image can say so much more than the equivalent in color.





































































- J

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

CHOICES

She is in love with two men. She is in a relationship with one guy but secretly thinks of the other man. Her heart aches when she thinks about what would happen if her current boyfriend were to ever find out about her secret thoughts. Would he leave? Would he stick around and help her get through this phase? That is all it is to her is a phase. She just wants to see the other guy one more time before he gets shipped overseas with the chance that A) she will never see him again or B) he will be married with children and she will forever feel the guilt of what if. She been through a lot with both partners. She has a different type of love for each,none more-so than the other. Yes,she often thinks about the hurt her current partner has caused her in the past and wants that revenge to taste so sweet. But at the same time, she is growing up and knows that such actions will not help her grow in any relationship if she feels the need to hold grudges. She only has a limited time to choose her next move: to sneak away with the other man and having him think that he is the only man, or to let go,move on and just start a new life with her play husband. The choice shall be drastic. One that she must live with. The choice is hers and hers alone.


-S.Jane

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Michael Jackson: Love too late


Today we have witnesses another important marker in history, the passing of Michael Jackson, was not only a shock for many the world over, but hopefully a lesson in life.

Ask yourself: How many times have we as a people failed to pay tribute to someone, or tell them how much we love or appreciate them until it's too late. Michael was a great example of this type of neglect.

For years we have gone on to speculate over aspects of Michael's personal life, by which we could never possibly arrive at any truth. Michael's struggle with the congenital skin disease venaligo was constantly used in jokes by comedians and even amongst people in casual conversation. As more and more rumors surfaced, the farther the global community moved away from the being that was no longer seen as a person, but a sort of symbol that represented what had been.

This is a man who lived a childhood that is incomparable to that of the average American. A childhood that was not filled with cartoons, and afternoon's at the park. Yet, it is mostly the average Americans that scrutinized his methods of dealing with his lack of a childhood.

Now, Jackson has slipped away from us, and along with him goes all if any remaining potential that he possessed. Not to my surprise, the man who many had turned their backs on, will until further notice be the main focus of conversation, as well as the media around us. The universe has somehow realigned itself in the realization of one's mortality. And as a result, kind words flow from peoples mouth's almost as natural as their breath, and everything that is spoken is now somehow tied to how talented and inspiring his existence was.

But why do we wait until it is to late to appreciate one's goodness? Why does death inspire us to look at the good in a person, when yesterday all we could focus on was the negative. Michael Jackson differed from most of us on the outside, and his life experience's were unique to him and only him. But just like all the rest of us, on the inside he was no different. He required love, appreciation, and belonging like all us. This is a man who lived a life fighting for what I believe were those things, and those alone. Instead of us embracing this man, we outcast him along with his pain. Thus he created his own coping mechanism's, in the form of a large amusement park, larger than life bust of superheros, and a home that was inviting to the spirit of children who possessed the childhood which he never experienced.

Michael is gone now, and there is no amount of tributes that will cause our words to fall amongst his deaf ears. So what must we do? We must not let his passing be in vain. From his story we must learn to share with one another how important and significant our existence's are. We must bring one another the joy of knowing that we are TRULY loved and appreciated, not just IDOLIZED. We must take note in the fact that everyone's story is different, and everyone therefore must cope with their pass in their own way. Just as we cannot compare apples to oranges we must remember that we cannot compare ourselves to one another-- we are unique beings, with unique needs.

As far as Michael goes, I believe the worst is over for him. I believe that Heaven is right here on this earth so long as you can find it. And hell exist not in some strange universe, but right here on earth in other people. All I can hope is that in his time on this earth he found at the least some portion Heaven.

In remembrance of Michael-- Love one another!



- J

Aw Michael and Farrah


How come when one person goes, another one goes? This is just like when Bernie Mac passed along with Issac Hayes. This is just devastating, because no one would have ever thought Michael Jackson would pass at the age of 50. Farrah Fawcett passed fighting cancer so many weren't surprised, but at the same time many believed she would pull through.
I heard about Farrah this morning and had to really think like "I know that name!" Then I was like "Charlie's Angels" man! I didn't even know about the cancer thing but I got caught up on it all today. Learning of her death did not affect me as much as learning bout Michael's. At first I was like WHAT?! I checked everything. TMZ confirmed it first, but COME ON! TMZ? So I'm checking the 6 o'clock news, CNN, BET, MTV... and it was finally confirmed. After a lot of confusion, and people making stuff up, like saying he was in a coma because they didn't want anyone to know he was gone, since his family had not been told yet. Deep down I knew. There was too much back and forth, "he's dead", "not dead","in a fatal state", "in a coma"...I knew it, but I did not want to believe it. He was getting his tour kicked off, talking about a comeback album! And my sister... she texts me and says "My boo gone." I am just so sad right now and I don't even know him, but his music touched me. He was the greatest (not one of the greatest) performers of all time and he will be deeply missed. I'm just mad I didn't get a chance to buy the new album that he never got to start.

-Footnote

SHOW ME YOUR GENITALS By: Jonlajoie

This video is one that I have had stashed away for sometime now in anticipation of my first blog.
This video employs all the elements that aid in helping one forget about all the troubles in the world for the short but efficient 2min: 5osecs that it last. I can't even begin to explain the sounds I made when I seen what I guess is supposed to be his hot ride, which is a dull-ish Chevy Lumina, plastered in the background-- reminiscent of rap videos. Hell, but their cars are usually rented, there is no doubt in my mind that this is really his car, so 5 stars for honesty.

Overall, this video is one that I am sure you all will share with your friends and family. All I ask is that when you do it, make sure to send them to LATBU.

P.s. I love when he says: " I can have sex with your personality, and I cant stick my penis in your college degree and I can't shove my FIST in your childhood dreams."

ENJOY!


-J